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Doing Your Own Being. The only thing you have to offer another human being, ever, is your own state of being. You can cop out only just so long, saying, “I’ve got all this nice stuff, I know all this and I can do all this.”
Follow. Ram Dass (Richard Alpert), was one of America's most beloved spiritual figures, making his mark on the world giving teachings and promoting loving service, harmonious business practices, and conscious care for the dying.
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- Ram Dass, Richard Alpert
- Overview
- Being Alone vs. Loneliness
- Things to Do By Yourself
- The Benefits of Being Alone
- How to Be Alone
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Solitude often gets a bad rap. Experts extol the virtues of social connectivity; it's linked to better immunity, improved stress resilience, and even longer life. Being alone, on the other hand, is all too often equated with loneliness. Research suggests that social isolation and loneliness increase the risk of heart disease, obesity, anxiety, depression, Alzheimer's disease, high blood pressure, and even early death.
While there is a wealth of research pointing to the psychological downsides of loneliness and social isolation, there is an increasing amount of evidence suggesting that a certain amount of quality time alone is critical to well-being. Some things, this research suggests, are just better off being done by yourself without the distractions, opinions, or influences of other people.
Even though people sometimes fear seclusion, research has shown than many people actually seek and prefer solitude. Your desire for alone time is heavily influenced by your overall personality.
Your preferences for solitude play a role in determining whether being alone has a positive or negative effect on your well-being. Where extroverts often dislike being alone, introverts tend to prefer it. Of course, just because you tend to be introverted does not mean that you want to be alone all the time. Even the most introverted of people need a support network and social connections.
And being an extrovert does not mean that you aren’t capable of enjoying your own company. Even if you naturally seek the company of a crowd, you can learn how to enjoy a little time to yourself now and then.
If you are naturally drawn to other people, finding activities to enjoy all on your own might seem difficult at first. Adding some quiet moments where you can be alone can come with a number of benefits, particularly if you are always on the go and struggle to slow down and take breaks.
Some things you might want to try:
Take yourself out to dinner. Dining out is often viewed as a social experience, but treating yourself to a nice meal can give you a chance to relax and enjoy the experience in peace.
Go to the movies alone. It’s not like you spend a lot of time socializing in the middle of a film, but being with other people means you might be distracted wondering what they think of the movie and what they might have to say later. Seeing a film alone means that you can fully focus on the story and visuals in front of you without wondering about what your companions might think.
See your favorite band or musician by yourself. Not only will you get to see your favorites without having to worry about finding people who want to go with you, seeing a concert alone can be a great way to meet other people who you share common interests with. You might be doing something on your own, but it can actually help widen your social circle.
Go for a hike. Spending time in nature can be great for your health, but it can sometimes be tough to find people who want to go. Going alone can give you a chance to connect with nature, challenge your body, and enjoy some peaceful solitude.
It Can Improve Concentration and Memory
When you are working in a group, you might exert less effort to memorize information because you simply assume that others in the group will fill in the gaps, a phenomenon known as social loafing. Working on things alone can help you focus your attention, which can improve your retention and recall. In one study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, researchers found that groups working collaboratively to recall information performed worse than individuals recalling things on their own.
It Makes Your Interests a Priority
It gives you time to focus on your interests. Being alone is an important part of self-development. It allows you to get to know yourself. When you are surrounded by others, you might set your own ideas and passions aside in order to appease the wants and needs of friends and family. Taking time on your own gives you a critical opportunity to make creative choices and focus your attention without worrying about what other people are thinking.
It Boosts Creativity
Collaborative brainstorming is often seen as one of the best ways to generate new ideas, but research has found that people are often better at solving difficult problems when they work on their own. Where group efforts are often about achieving consensus and fitting in with the crowd, solo work encourages innovation without added social pressure.
Being alone doesn’t come naturally to everyone. If you are used to surrounding yourself with friends and family or even prefer the company of strangers, learning to appreciate the joys of going solo may take some time.
•Make a plan. The best alone-time often happens when you set aside a specific period to be by yourself. It shouldn’t be forced isolation that leaves you feeling withdrawn or anti-social. Set aside an evening or a weekend for a little refreshing “me time.”
•Eliminate the distractions. If you find yourself tempted to work, check out social media, or talk on the phone, start by turning off any potential distracting devices. Leave your laptop and phone aside and focus on doing something that you don’t normally get to do on your own.
•Learn to value solitude. In an ever-connected world that often devalues being alone, it is important to remember the importance of taking time to spend with just your own thoughts.
One fascinating study found that participants would rather engage in mundane tasks or even administer electrical shocks to themselves rather than spend 6 to 15 minutes alone in a room with nothing to do but think.
In the study, participants much preferred to spend their time engaged in mundane tasks rather than being left to their own thoughts. The researchers concluded that most people would rather be doing something—even something negative—than sit and do nothing.
Expressing yourself can help you determine what you enjoy, how your experiences affect you and how to start being yourself. Keep a journal and record what you did well each day and what you enjoyed, as well as things you could have done better.
Adopting some habits and self-care practices can help you be happy while on your own. This can include finding a creative outlet and improving your coping skills.
20 de ago. de 2023 · Thinking, feeling, and truly living alone is much more about embracing this life and being fully immersed in it, allowing you to be completely present in your mind and body. Living alone gives you the opportunity to explore your true self and develop a sense of being comfortable in your own skin.
Doing Your Own Being: The Baba Ram Dass Lecture at the Menninger Foundation: Author: Ram Dass: Edition: 2: Publisher: Spearman, 1973: ISBN: 0854354913, 9780854354917: Length: 121...
