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Go get your pajamas on. Fill your bed up with blankets, pillows, or stuffed animals. Put all electronics away, and then lay down with your eyes closed for 15 minutes. It might help to turn on a noise machine, fan, or an hour long YouTube video with the sound of rain falling.
Whether it's a city, a relationship that won't take off, or a job, here are 3 signs to know when to give up and take up a new (maybe better!) dream or goal.
- Overview
- Understanding Suicidal Ideation
- Disorders Associated With Suicidal Thoughts
- Chronic Problems, Burnout, and Trauma
- Treatments If You Feel Like Giving Up on Life
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Information in this article might be triggering to some people. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
If you’ve ever thought, 'I give up,' you’re not alone. Experiencing certain health conditions, unexpected events, longtime hardship, or simply feeling like life didn’t turn out as you thought it would are some reasons a person might feel like giving up on life.
While it’s not unusual to feel this way during particularly trying times, this is a situation that you and your loved ones need to take very seriously.
Wanting to give up on life can be a fleeting feeling, but it can also be a precursor to suicide. That’s why it’s important to reach out to a hotline, health care provider, social worker, clergy member, teacher, friend, or family member when this feeling arises. With the proper treatment and support, your will to live again can return.
What Is Passive Suicidal Ideation?
An individual can also experience passive suicidal ideation, meaning that one wants to die or feels like giving up on life without having any concrete plans to die by suicide. Passive suicidal ideation should not be taken lightly because people who have lost the will to live may begin to actively contemplate suicide and develop a plan to take their lives rather than hoping for an accident to kill them or simply to never wake up again. Symptoms of suicidal thoughts include a number of behaviors: Fixating on death or dying Giving away possessions Discussing suicide or regretting ever being born Feelings of hopelessness Making one’s goodbyes Securing guns, pills, or other items to end one’s life An uptick in substance use and other forms of self-harm Isolating oneself Mood swings and other personality changes Changes in daily routines Getting one’s affairs in order for no apparent reason
Related Thoughts
In addition to thinking 'I give up,' you might also experience similar thoughts such as: 'I have nothing to live for. 'What's the point of life?' 'I can't do this anymore.' 'I wish I could disappear.' 'I don't care about anything.' Risk Factors and Warning Signs of Suicide
There are a number of mental health conditions that may cause someone to feel like giving up on life. Suicidal ideation often stems from mood disorders such as:
•Anxiety disorders: Research has found that people with anxiety disorders are more likely to experience suicidal ideation, suicidal behaviors, attempted suicide, or completed suicide. These rates differ depending on the specific anxiety disorder. For example, 23% of people with panic disorder experience suicidal ideation.
•Bipolar disorder: This condition causes extreme shifts in mood. It is associated with decreased life expectancy, in part because people with bipolar disorder have a suicide risk 10 to 30 times higher than that of the general population.
•Major depressive disorder: Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. Research suggests that around 56% of people with depression experience suicidal ideation at some point in their lives.
•Persistent depressive disorder (also known as dysthymia): Research has found that the lifetime risk of suicide in people with dysthymia is around 14.3%, somewhat higher than that of the general population.
It is also linked to:
Chronic Problems
A person with a chronic health problem may no longer want to cope with life through the lens of that condition. Research has also found that being diagnosed with a severe condition, such as cancer, heart disease, and degenerative neurological conditions, is associated with an increased risk of suicide. Some other life events that may trigger suicidal thoughts include: An individual experiencing a breakup: They may not only feel depressed about the breakup but about the string of failed relationships that fell apart previously. Having a lasting relationship with someone may seem completely out of reach, making the individual feel hopeless about the future or like a failure. Research suggests that this risk is often higher when it involves the breakup of a highly committed relationship. Being in a dead-end relationship or job may also feel like life isn’t worth living. An individual may not be able to imagine an existence where their home life or work life is actually fulfilling. Reporting to a job where one is routinely overlooked, devalued, underpaid, or not challenged can be depressing. Staying in a bad marriage for the sake of the children, one’s religion, or any other form of obligation can also result in life losing its luster. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Burnout
Burnout is another condition that can give rise to suicidal thoughts. Experiencing burnout is often linked to workplace stress, but the added stress in other areas of life can also play a role. Many parents may work during the day, then come home and then perform a “second shift” that involves cooking, cleaning, and caring for their children while their spouse or partner does little or nothing to help. Having little downtime, let alone time for self-reflection, can make life seem like a series of endless tasks to complete. People in high-pressure jobs, such as medicine, also experience burnout. With long hours and little sleep, they may use drugs or alcohol to cope. During the COVID-19 pandemic, some healthcare providers took their own lives as they were overwhelmed with deathly ill patients and a lack of resources to help them.
Unresolved Trauma
Unresolved childhood trauma can also cause people to want to give up on life. Individuals who have experienced abuse throughout childhood and now suffer from complex PTSD (C-PTSD) might have flashbacks, nightmares, trouble trusting others, and thoughts that the world isn’t a safe place. They might also lose faith in religion, making them feel even more alone as they struggle to recover from childhood wounds. Individuals with C-PTSD may struggle to imagine a world that isn’t defined by their childhood's abuse, trauma, and dysfunction, resulting in them questioning if life is worth living. Of course, people who experienced trauma in adulthood might have similar symptoms, but childhood trauma is unique because it impacts the developing brain. One meta-analysis found that adults who had experienced physical, sexual, or emotional abuse as children had a two to three times higher risk of suicidal ideation in adulthood. 'Why Is Life So Hard?' How to Cope When You Feel This Way
If you feel like you don’t want to live anymore, set up an appointment with a health care provider, particularly a licensed mental health professional, to talk about what you're experiencing.
Providers can give you a diagnosis, medications, talk therapy, and other treatment options. They can also give you tips about managing the emotions or circumstances that have led you to want to give up on life.
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