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Self-Helpless Podcast. @SelfHelplessPodcast ‧. 9.95K subscribers ‧ 339 videos. Described by fans as "an unfiltered thera-brunch with your best friends," and "light conversations about heavy...
- Overview
- Identify the Source
- Understand Why You Might Resist Change
- Focus on What You Can Control
- Remember Your Thoughts Might Not Be Accurate
- Challenge Your Helpless Feelings
- Remember Your Strengths
- Practice Acceptance
- Know When to Seek Help
"Focusing on the things you can control can help you know what step you can take next or if there is even anything that you can do," Renteria suggests.
At a Glance
If you feel like there is nothing you can do to change the situation, it can help to assess and evaluate the source of your feelings. Some questions you might ask:
•Have you been coping with a great deal of stress lately?
•Have you recently experienced trauma or setback?
•Is something happening in the world that is outside of your control?
•Have you been struggling with other symptoms such as low mood, sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest that might be connected?
Evaluating some of the factors that might be playing a part in your feelings of helplessness can help you decide what tactics might be the most helpful. For example, if daily stresses are making you feel helpless, finding ways to control chronic stress may set you back into a more resilient mindset.
Helplessness is a tough emotion to experience. Sometimes, it can be beneficial to look at some of the reasons you might be resisting feeling empowered.
That doesn't mean that you are choosing helplessness. It might mean, however, that you are resisting change because the alternative is frightening.
Not feeling helpless might mean that you are ready to make a significant change in your life. But, on the other hand, overcoming those negative feelings might compel you to take on challenges that can also be difficult, challenging, or even overwhelming.
Remember that changing your mindset can be hard (and sometimes scary)! It often comes with its own unique set of challenges. But it also opens up a new world of opportunity and rewards that are worth pursuing.
When you spend too much time ruminating over the things you cannot change, you are more likely to magnify feelings of helplessness. Focusing on those unchangeable things only leaves you feeling more defeated.
However, paying attention to the things you can control can help you feel more capable. It provides a greater sense of agency and can give you the motivation and energy to work toward making a change.
"People often feel overwhelmed with anxiety from the brain scanning multiple scenarios to fix a problem. A lot of these tend to be ideal scenarios that aren't realistic," Renteria says.
Focusing on the things we can control can give us a real guide to what we can do, even if it isn't what we would have wanted the most.
— YOLANDA RENTERIA, LPC
For example, you can't solve climate change, but you can't get in touch with your representatives to learn more about steps they are taking to support climate change initiatives. You can't control how other people treat you, but you can control and maintain your boundaries to protect your own mental well-being.
Cognitive distortions are your brain’s way of misinterpreting events, coming to faulty conclusions, and believing things that are just downright wrong. So when you are dealing with a difficult emotion like helplessness, it is important to remember that your brain isn’t always telling you the truth.
So the next time you find yourself going down the "nothing will ever change" or "there’s nothing I can do that will make a difference" rabbit hole of negative thoughts, try to step back for a moment and take a more realistic view.
Once you recognize those helpless thoughts and feelings, it is time to start actively challenging and replacing them with more accurate, empowering ones.
This might involve looking for evidence that points to the opposite. For example, if you feel helpless about trying to achieve a specific goal, think about times you have accomplished something you set your mind to.
Look for evidence that disputes your helpless feelings. Think about situations that demonstrate your personal agency.
By actively seeking information that makes you feel more empowered and capable, you’ll be better able to break out of a powerless mindset.
If you feel helpless, it can be beneficial to recognize your own unique talents, strengths, and abilities. Emphasizing these capabilities is a great way to gain more empowerment and motivation to tackle challenges you might be facing in different areas of your life.
Consider making a list of the things you are good at, and then think about how you might use those skills to tackle a problem. Rather than ruminate on your weaknesses, focus your time on appreciating and honing your strengths.
While it might seem counterproductive, acknowledging the things outside of your control may actually improve your ability to accept them.
"The role of the brain is to find solutions. If we let it, the brain can scan solutions for days, months, or even years, which only fuels anxiety, overwhelm, and shut down," Renteria explains. "When we develop the habit of accepting there's nothing we can do, we help train the brain to stop ruminating idealized scenarios."
Essentially, feeling like you have to control everything can actually make you feel more helpless. It can even make you feel hopeless when you find yourself overwhelmed by the reality of the situation.
Research suggests that when people mistakenly believe they can control the future, they actually end up feeling even more distressed.
Focusing on the present, on the things you can control in the here-and-now, can be more effective. Working on controlling things in the present may help people feel less distressed and more satisfied with life.
When you accept things that are not in your hands, you align with the present reality instead of the ideal scenario of how things should be.
Helplessness is a difficult emotion that can make it hard to tackle the obstacles that you face in your life. Fortunately, there are things that you can do to feel more capable and empowered.
If your feelings of helplessness are causing distress, making it difficult to function, or are accompanied by other symptoms, talk to your doctor. Such symptoms may be a sign of a condition such as depression or another mood disorder.
Your doctor may recommend treatment options such as psychotherapy, medication, and lifestyle modifications to help you start feeling better and improve your well-being.
If you or a loved one are struggling with feelings of helplessness or depression, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
What Can Help When You're Feeling Hopeless
20 de sept. de 2019 · Learned helplessness typically manifests as a lack of self-esteem, low motivation, a lack of persistence, the conviction of being inept, and ultimately failure.
3. Focus on your self-talk. “The way you talk to yourself can make you move through trauma better,” said Serani. When it’s unhealthy, self-talk keeps us stuck and makes us feel...
Helplessness is a painful feeling and, when it becomes generalized, can be debilitating. Luckily, we can learn to identify how to manage and prevent feelings of helplessness. Identify the source of the feeling . When you are feeling helpless, it can be useful to take time to consider why.
29 de abr. de 2024 · Described by fans as "an unfiltered thera-brunch with your best friends," and "light conversations about heavy sh*t," The Self-Helpless Podcast candidly explores the highs, lows, and gray areas of all things personal growth. Enjoy special guests — including authors, health professionals, and a varie….
3 de nov. de 2021 · Several symptoms of learned helplessness, such as low motivation, feeling a lack of control, and low self-esteem overlap with depression and anxiety. Attribution and explanation play a fundamental role in why learned helplessness affects some people and not others.
