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12 de abr. de 2022 · At the risk of stating the obvious, having a baby with someone is kind of a big deal. As such, we suggest you dot the i’s and cross the t’s by having a sit-down with your spouse before you proceed. Here, a list of the most important questions to ask before having a baby, courtesy of clinical psychologist Dr. Bethany Cook.
- Emma Singer
- Overview
- Talking to Your Partner
- Discussing Your Readiness to Have Kids
- Moving Forward with Your Partner
- Expert Video
The decision to have children is huge and it is not always easy to bring up in a relationship. Direct, honest, and respectful communication is the best option, but even if you both want to start a family, you will need to discuss readiness factors. If it turns out that your partner does not want kids now or in the future, then you may need to consi...
Think about your own reasons for wanting to have kids.
Before you strike up a conversation you’re your spouse about having kids, take some time to examine your own reasons for wanting to have kids. Write them out in as much detail as possible to help you prepare for a conversation with your spouse.
Consider whether your motivation is internal or external. Do you want to have kids because you think your friends and family expect you to do so? Or do you have an internal desire to have kids? How can you tell that your desire is rooted in yourself?
Find a good time to talk.
Don’t approach your spouse at the end of a stressful day or when he or she is distracted. Instead, plan your conversation for a time when you and your spouse are relaxed and can devote your full attention to the matter.
For example, you might plan to talk on Saturday morning after you have had breakfast. Make sure that you sit down face to face and put away all distractions (cell phones, laptops, etc.) when you have your conversation.
Having children requires you and your spouse to be in good physical condition. Take some time to consider how healthy you are and what you can do to improve on your health before trying to become pregnant.
For example, if you smoke or your partner smokes, then take steps to
If you or your partner are overweight, then take steps to
Try to pinpoint your health challenges and identify ways that you can improve your health.
Examine the strength of your relationship.
Before you expand your family, you and your partner should take time to work out any challenges in your relationship. Having children can put a strain on both of you and if you have issues, then it is in your future child’s best interest to try to find a solutions to these issues.
Try to be patient if your spouse wants to wait.
Even after you share your feelings with your spouse, there is a possibility that they may still not feel ready to have kids. In this case, it is important to be respectful of your spouse’s wishes and try not to pressure them.
Pressuring your spouse about having kids is unlikely to make them think differently about the choice. In fact, it may even cause serious problems for your relationship.
Remember that having children may challenge your relationship.
Children cannot fix a relationship, but some people think that having children will do just that. If you are considering children as a way to fix the relationship between you and your partner, then you should not have children.
with your partner before you make the decision to have kids.
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